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Saturday, February 09, 2008
With different people, I behave differently. It's wierd and I cant really explain.
In primary school, I was totally different from who I am now. If I was still whoever I was then, I wouldnt have made the same friends I did, behaved the same way, made the same decisions. I just had a glimpse of what people then thought of me. I didnt like what I heard. That girl is gone.
Am I being paranoid again? Maybe? But then again maybe not.
It's not good to rake up the past. The past was disappointing. I didnt fit in, never did. I was in a world of my own. Consists of ME, ME and ME! As D said, I lived in a fairytale. The bubble was burst, 4 years later. It's too late to start anew. They will think what they thought 4 years ago and it'll always be that way.
At least I know who I am now. I have friends who I can count on and whom I love. I'm grateful for them. At least I dont have to live in a world in which everyday can be a potential danger. In a world where everyone around you can turn into a conniving bastard or backstabbing bitch. Never again. Opening my mouth was a disaster.
Dont say things when you dont mean it. I know we will never reach that stage.
H is looking better day by day. But he is still someone whom I'll never trust. I'm NOT sorry things didnt work out.
jean
updated at /
- 1:40 AM
